UMass and throwing “money gobs” at coaching

“The wheels of the bus come and go. Round and round, round and round. The wheels of the bus come and go. All day.”

Most people will recognize these sayings as a preschool staple. It also appears to be the anthem of the UMass athletic department. Whenever the basketball or football team fails to meet expectations, the department decision-maker’s hot-headed reaction is to replace the coach while throwing tons of money at the problem.

Coach, coach, coach. Always the coach. The college shooters appear not to have received the memo. UMass is not a destination school for elite athletes. Notwithstanding Milt Morin, Marcus Camby, and James Ihedigbo, the school attracts above-average competitors who likely lack the skills to compete with institutions attracting athletes who are likely to become elite professionals.

Since April 2011, when the university announced that the football program would move to the Division 1 football subdivision, the team has been completely outmatched, as evidenced by a 25-98 record. The UMass rivals are eager to take on the team. As the saying goes, playing UMass is a good way to get healthy.

Frankly, it’s amazing that a young man, having researched the past decade of UMass football and possessing a healthy respect for life and bodily integrity, would consider playing Amherst, scholar or not. During the same period, the basketball team is 177-166, which confirms the athletic prowess of the UMass competitor compared to the UMass trainability.

When UMass played Division 1-AA football, the games were competitive, fun and exciting. Now, game day brings to mind an image of Kevin Bacon on all fours in the movie Animal House saying, “Thank you, sir. Can I have another?

And next season? New football and basketball coaches. And the wheels of the bus are turning in circles. You know the rest.

jack tulloss

Belchertown