By Lady Bay
Dear Ms. Anyhooo,
I have a problem and I don’t know what to do at this point in my relationship with my significant other. Don and I had been dating for six months when he has asked me to move in with him. He has a two-bedroom apt. and well I was eager and wished he would want to share our lives and progress the relationship. Be careful what you hope for!
We have now been living together for two months and things have been tense at times. It turns out there is much we do not agree upon. Don always tells me to pack my bags and leave anytime I do or say something he doesn’t like. It is becoming his daily mantra almost and I am not sure what to do. My feelings really get hurt and when I speak up he becomes very indifferent.
Don is 46 and I am 34 years old. I keep thinking he will change, and we can move past this hurtful behavior. The way he acts makes me uncertain of his commitment and feelings for me. What do you think Ms. Anyhooo, should I stay, or is it time for me to pack up and go?
Signed: Lydia who just wants to be loved
Dear Lydia,
Bless your oh so unappreciated heart! Darlin, what part of all Don’s indifference and “tude” are you still chalking up as love? Now I am fixin to be stripped down honest with you. For the life of me, as I read your letter, I can’t understand why you are not coming across as madder than an old wet hen?
Sistah, there is not a man the Lord has seen fit to walk this earth I would ever let talk to me in that fashion. It sounds like Don thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. And, it sho’nuff does not! Sometimes we will gather up people near to us who treat us like we feel about ourselves way down deep inside…I suspect you might be needing to take stock of your worth, honey child.
Yes, people do grow or change as you put it but they do so through effort and communication. I suspect even at 46 years old your Don has a heaping of maturing still undone. From what you have said, you have tried to talk this thing out with him over months, is that right? If you have truly told Don how it makes you feel when he so recklessly dismisses the relationship by flippantly commanding you to go and he remains indifferent – then you dear lady know what must be done.
Run! and by run I mean no pausing to adjust your socks! Lydia, deep down in your heart you know a good man who loves his woman does not treat their woman like this. This type of behavior is verbal abuse and oftentimes can lead to more demonstrative physical abuse. There are plenty of real men out there who know how to treat someone they love and cherish. You need to work on your self-esteem and set boundaries.
It may feel scary to leave a broken relationship and go out on your own again but that is the first step of you taking care of yourself. I do declare child that no man will truly love you if you do not start loving up on yourself first. Be good to yourself Lydia, and trust that who you are is good enough and deserves respect.
Now as we Southerners do when we hang up a phone- you just tell Tom
“Let me let you go!” Before you know it that sinking ache inside you will lift and you will recognize how his presence in your life was dragging you down and making you feel less than. Now that is change. Soon more than enough Lydia will attract a new love that lets her heart soar and takes good care to protect it.
Now then… Run! Run! Away!
Best wishes and blessings you little haint,
Ms. Anyhooo
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Ms. Anyhooo writes for the Right Wire Report, who provides common sense down-to-earth answers to your personal relationships on love, life, and everything in between. Spun from the heart of the Tennessee mountain country, follow her on the hashtag #DearAnyhoooAnswers (save this link to your favorites bookmarks). If you have any questions for Ms. Anyhooo to answer please send them to anyhooo@rightwirereport.com or Contact Us.
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Source: Dear Anyhooo Answers: Lydia, Run As Fast As You Can From This Relationship!
Category: Culture, RWR, abusive relationships, advice column, Dear Anyhooo Answers, self esteem
